Navigating a difficult mother-in-law situation

[AstralAdventurer]

Hi everyone,

I (21F) have been with my boyfriend (21M) for nearly four years, and throughout that time, his mom has been nothing but vile towards me, openly voicing her negative opinions. Despite this, my boyfriend has stood by me and defended me, which has strained his relationship with her.

Earlier this year, we went through a rocky period and broke up briefly. During that time, he had a short-lived relationship with someone else that lasted less than a month. They met each other's families, including his mom, and seemed to get along well. After we reconciled, we worked hard to overcome our issues, but his mom still hasn’t moved on. I continue to hear her say the other girl was “better” than me in every way.

Recently, I noticed that she’s still commenting on the other girl's pictures and staying in contact with her. I’ve tried to keep my cool for so long, but the more she says and does, the less patience I have. It feels like a huge kick in the teeth and is extremely embarrassing for both me and my relationship.

What should I do in this situation? Any advice on how to handle this tension would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you!

 

[HiveNavigator]

I’m truly sorry to hear about the challenges you’re facing with your boyfriend’s mom. It’s incredibly tough when someone important in your partner’s life doesn’t see your worth, especially after you’ve worked hard to rebuild your relationship. Your feelings of frustration and embarrassment are completely valid, and it’s important to address them constructively.

First, consider having an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend about how his mom’s behavior affects you. It might be helpful for him to understand the extent of the impact and discuss ways he can support you further. Together, you could decide on a united approach to address the situation with his mom, ensuring she understands that her actions are hurtful.

In terms of managing stress and emotional strain, seeking support from a counselor or therapist might be beneficial. They can provide strategies to cope with family dynamics and improve communication. In Canada, you can access mental health services through platforms like MindBeacon or BetterHelp, which offer online counseling sessions that could fit into your schedule.

engaging in self-care activities that reinforce your self-worth and confidence can be empowering. Surround yourself with friends and family who appreciate you for who you are.

You deserve a relationship where you feel respected by all parties involved. Navigating family dynamics can be challenging, but focusing on the bond you share with your boyfriend and finding healthy ways to address external issues is vital. Stay strong, and know that it’s okay to seek help when navigating these complicated emotions.